


Good Place to Think

by fanficfanatic84



Category: Emmerdale
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-24
Updated: 2018-04-09
Packaged: 2019-02-06 07:31:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 11,018
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12812667
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fanficfanatic84/pseuds/fanficfanatic84
Summary: Robert is taking the time process the events of everything that's happened.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Okay so this popped into my head I wrote it down and I am sharing it. 
> 
> (I haven't forgotten my other fic just lost my inspiration a but for those who care I will be getting back to it)

Robert is sat on the beach looking out to the ocean. The only sound he can hear are the sounds of waves as they head towards to the shore. It's all just so peaceful and calm compared to what he has been dealing with the last few months. But then he thinks sadly that's all his fault.

_2 weeks ago_

_Everything all kicked off with Rebecca and the rest of the White clan. He had even taken a beating from Lawrence but the worst thing was when Rebecca finally told him she was playing him all along, Seb was never his she just didn't want to see Robert happy with Aaron as neither of them deserved that. They hurt her so she hurt them. As that whole family rode off into the sunset leaving the village stunned._

Robert hadn't known how to react to that and he still doesn't if he is being honest which is why he finds himself sitting on a beach in Spain hiding at his grans. Vic, of course, has been trying to speak to him and apologise for her behaviour but he doesn't have it in him to listen to her and try to make her feel better. Even Diane reached out to him but all she wanted to talk about was Jack and Robert just can't right now with that so he just keeps deleting the messages. His gran gives him the space he needs, he thinks she has some sort of sixth sense as she doesn't mention Jack to him at all which he is grateful for.

The sun is slowly starting to set and Robert is feeling the cold now but he doesn't move just keeps sitting there looking out at the water. All he wants is for his mind to be quiet and stop assaulting him with all these memories he can't deal with. The biggest question in his mind is why? Why did he call Rebecca that day? He knows he has a self destructing nature but he had to know this will kill what he had with Aaron so why did he ruin all of that. He had talked to his gran about this who pointed out he is taking all of the blame when in reality Rebecca had her part to play too but everyone was happy to punish Robert alone as was he himself. He had tried to argue but she was having none of it yes he did wrong but it takes two people.

His phone vibrates in his pocket bringing him back to cold beach with the sun completely gone now. He thinks it will be his gran telling him to get home. But when he looks at the screen its certainly not a name he was expecting to see - Aaron. He freezes for a moment before opening the message which says "Vic is worried about you please call home." He sighs and does what he has done with all the voicemail's and messages that have come before it and hits delete. He casts one final look over the water and heads back to his grans with his head more jumbled than ever.

He tosses and turns all night his dreams filled with Emmerdale and all that comes with that. He finally decides sleep is going to evade him around six am but he doesn't move so he doesn't disturb his gran she will be up soon anyway. He picks his phone up off the bedside table and sees a few notifications. As expected he sees a few texts from Vic, with the usual message of she will try again later to call him and she hopes he will answer. Then another from Diane - "just checking in with you pet, please call someone back home." Home that thought makes him laugh humorlessly what's that anymore, he almost texts that back to Diane but doesn't instead he just hits delete.

As he's checking the news another text comes through again another name he wasn't expecting to see anytime soon - Liv. He doesn't know if he can deal with this so early in the morning but the fact she's awake this early on a Saturday surprises him. So he opens it "Aaron misses you, please call or text to someone anyone." Before he can decide what to respond another message comes through "I miss you, yes I said I hated you and never wanted to see you again but I didn't mean it Rob. We need you xx" Robert is stunned by this and doesn't realise he has been crying until his gran pops her head through the door to check on him. "Oh love come here" she says as she gathers him in her arms and lets him cry it all out.

Feeling embarrassed from earlier, Robert heads out to his spot on the beach. Its only 10am but this part of the beach is still quiet which is what he loves about it. He tells his gran if he goes there now at least he won't be out in the cold later. Liv's message is still playing in his head, he didn't delete it so he opens it and reads it again. Its now or never he thinks - "Liv you don't need me at all, you & Aaron are the strongest people I know. Let everyone know I am okay." he sighs but feels a little lighter that at least he has sent something back. He is brought out of his thoughts by his phone ringing, he wishes Vic would stop he really can't face anyone right now. Only it isn't Vic its Aaron, but again he does what he has been doing and doesn't answer. What would he even say to any of them, he doesn't have answers for anyone. He needs them for himself and nothing comes.

Three days have gone past and Robert is being kept busy by his gran which has actually helped to clear his mind a little. He slept a little better last night but that's because his gran is working him hard, all part of her plan he thinks. His phone has been quiet but he suspects that because Vic has spoken to his gran and she's told her to leave him for now. He is sitting outside in the garden enjoying the sun and having his lunch. His gran off to her book club or gardening club or something Robert only half listening as he waved her off. He thinks he should move and clear up in the kitchen but keeps giving himself five more minutes. And that's when he hears the bell on the side gate ring as someone opens it. As Robert turns to tell them that Annie isn't there he shocked and stunned to see Aaron standing there - "Hi Robert".

Robert stands there plate and coffee mug in hand and says nothing as Aaron stands at the gate having not moved from there. Robert is resisting the urge to put the plate and mug down and run but what would that achieve so he shakes himself from his thoughts and asks "Ummm what are you doing here?" Aaron looks stunned for a moment that, that is what Robert has chosen to say at that moment. "Well you wouldn't answer the phone or my texts, Liv told us you messaged her and well Vic phoned your gran and begged for information but she wouldn't budge. So here I am" It takes Robert a second to take it all in like he's on some sort of time delay. He watches Aaron who even in this heat is still wearing a hoodie and is currently picking at the sleeves of it trying to distract himself. He sighs "I don't know what everyone wants from me Aaron. I don't have answers for me so how can I give them to everyone else." And with that he grabs the plate and mug and heads towards the house.

Aaron takes a second to take that in. He wasn't expecting to see Robert so defeated, actually he didn't know what to expect. What he does know is that he has to show Robert that he wants to be there for him. So with a deep breath he picks his bag up and follows Robert into the house.

He finds Robert standing clutching at the sink his shoulders shaking. Aaron drops his bag loud enough to let Robert know he is there and Robert spins around while wiping at his face. At that moment he can't resist it he moves forward and wraps Robert in a hug, at first Robert tenses and doesn't react and when Aaron thinks maybe he shouldn't have Robert finally wraps his arms around Aaron and cries. They have been there a while when Robert finally stops crying pulls away and apologises. "I am sorry I don't know why I did that" Aaron's heart breaks for him and before he can stop himself "Stop that right now Robert!! Stop apologising, stop taking the blame for things, stop trying to be what you think people want and just be you!!! Because you are enough Rob." With that he takes Robert's hand while he just stands there looking bewildered at him. "Rob you mean so much to me and I don't tell you that enough, I love you." Aaron paused and Robert looks like he going to speak or pass out. "Let me finish okay? But can we sit." Robert motions for him to sit at the table and he does the same opposite Aaron still looking like he's going to run away. Aaron reaches out and takes Robert's hands into his own and continues "I love you and I was so scared when you left. All I kept thinking was what if I don't see him again and that terrified me. And yeah that's selfish I guess but Rob isn't that us messed up together and we can't do that if well we are not together." He squeezes Roberts hand and Robert looks at him tears shining in his eyes threatening to spill. "Look I get that you need time to process everything but I needed to see you and tell you how I felt as that's part of our problem isn't it, the whole not talking to each other thing. But I am trying, my councillor said it won't all be rosy but I need to talk about my feelings and the only one person who makes me feel safe enough to do that is you." His voice breaks at that as Robert lets go of hand to reach across and wipe the tears that Aaron hadn't realised were falling.

"Aaron, thank you. I know all of this was brought about by me and I don't deserve you but I am selfish enough to want it. But I need to fix me first before I can be anything to anyone. You make me feel so safe and loved that I can just be me and you will never know what that means to me. But right now I can't talk about it as I haven't made sense of it all. Maybe counselling is the way forward for me too and god knows I would be willing to try but I need more time away from the village. I'm just not ready for the staring and the chatter and the gossip." Robert dares to look up at Aaron at this point who just looks proud of Robert which makes him frown. Aaron laughs slightly and moves his chair closer to Robert and puts his arm around him. "Yes, that is pride you see on my face Robert Jacob Sugden. You would never have said any of that before so I know how big that is. But just to be clear and you won't like it. Not everything that happened or went wrong was your fault completely. We all know you can be a muppet." He adds with a grin and is pleased when Robert actually laughs.

"Now there is a sound I haven't heard in a while." Both of them snap round quickly to see Annie standing in the kitchen door. "Don't worry, all I heard was the laughing and thought it would be safe to come in. Oh and Aaron your room is ready for you." Both Robert and Aaron look at her confused "You told my grand daughter who cannot keep a secret that you were coming here so of course she told me. And Robert really you have been here two weeks have you seen me go to a book club before." She laughs and ruffles his hair making him laugh again. Robert stands up and gives her a kiss on the cheek. "Thank you, now get out of my kitchen and don't come back in here until five but don't you be late." Robert holds his hand out for Aaron to take which he does without hesitation and Robert relaxes more. "Let me show you my beach." Aaron smiles and nods a goodbye to Annie as he and Robert head out.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Robert and Aaron on the beach

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for the lovely comments. I am going to keep this one going well for a few more chapters at least.
> 
> This one is just a short chapter I couldn't shake.

They take the short walk to the beach hand in hand, neither of them wanting to let go of the other. Robert leads Aaron along the beach while Aaron looks out to the water thinking about how calm and peaceful it is. Robert stops and Aaron doesn't notice and walks right into him. Robert bursts out laughing at Aaron's slightly annoyed face as Aaron frowns more and then he can't help it and laughs too.

"Well this is it, the place I have been coming to try to escape everything up here" he says as he points to his head looking out to the water. Aaron knows he should respond here but all he can do is look at Robert and really look at him for the first time in weeks. He gets distracted by how much Spain has done him good. He has colour back in his cheeks bringing out those freckles he loves to much and so many more. Oh the times Aaron has just stared at Robert to take in all those freckles he doesn't think he will ever get over that nor does he want too. Or the way the sun is shining off Robert's hair making it even more blonde golden even. But then he realises there is more Robert just looks so tired and broken and it breaks Aaron's heart. Before he can get more lost in his own head he hears "Do you like what you see then?" He flushes red as he thinks he has been caught staring but Robert hasn't looked away from the water. "I can see why you like it here is so calm and peaceful, thank you for sharing with me." Robert looks at him and smiles. "Of course, but can I give you some advice?" Aaron nods "You might want to take the hoodie off." Aaron frowns looks down and looks at Robert "Why what's wrong with it?" Robert bites back a smile "Well one the sun is splitting the sky and two your turning red or is that from the staring?" Aaron shakes his head and but takes the hoodie off none the less and sits it beside him. Both of them settle into a comfortable silence looking out to the waves just content to be in each others company.

"Aaron why are you here? I want you to be happy, I want you to be loved and feel safe and not trapped like you feel your only option is to hurt yourself. I always destroy everything I touch dad was right, I am a disappointment and you should run and get as far away from me as you can."

Aaron just sits and stares at Robert in disbelief but then a waves of grief hits him as he realises this is how much Robert hates himself and truly believes what he's saying and it kills Aaron inside. Aaron grabs Robert's face and makes him look at him tears pouring down Robert's face now mirroring Aaron's own "Robert you need to listen to me, I can't sit here and watch MY beautiful husband say all of those things and worse let you think that all of that is true. I won't lie yes you hurt me, but how many moments did you get me through. Rob the first person I told about Gordon was you because you made me feel safe and loved that I could. All of that held inside me for years and yet you brought that wall down and Gordon was punished for what he did. I couldn't have done that without you. And Liv, if you hadn't found Sandra I wouldn't have Liv in my life, yes she is a giant pain in the arse" Robert can't help but lets out a small smile here and it makes Aaron feel like its a small victory as maybe he's listening "But I love her and I am so thankful I have her in my life and you did that, you for me. Can't you see how much of a difference you make to me Rob really? That's just a few things I could keep going for you. Please say you get it?" Robert finally meets Aaron's eyes and tries to speak but he can instead he breaks down sobbing and all Aaron can do is hold him.

When he finally stops crying Aaron can see the moment that Robert puts his walls straight back up. "Robert please please don't do that" he pleads with Robert. "Do what?" is the small broken response he gets. Aaron sighs and sits back before speaking "Your putting those walls up again and don't tell me your not as I know very well what is like to do that. And I know you have seen it before with me so please don't" the last part being whispered. Robert considers what Aaron has said to him, Aaron knows him well enough to just let him have a moment. "Aaron, I am sorry I really truly am but me letting you in again just means what we will be happy of a while and then what i mess up again. I can't lose you again as its broken me this time." Aaron can't help it he jumps to his feet and raises his voice "Stop it right now STOP. I am sick and tired of everyone from mum to Paddy to Liv hell to half that village telling me what to do and how to feel." Aaron suddenly loses all of his fight and drops back down in front of Robert. "Rob, what I want and what I need is you, I want messed up forever with you, please." Aaron drops his head down to look at the sand when he feels Robert's hand on his face. "I told you earlier I wanted the same but I need some time I can't go back right now I just can't and if that makes me weak or a coward then so be it. But messed up forever so long as its with you sounds good." Aaron can't help it he glances at Robert's lips and then back into those eyes he loves so much and leans forward and kisses him. Robert takes a moment before he kisses back and when they break apart Aaron pulls Robert into a hug and they both sit side by side watching the waves. "I am not okay Aaron and I don't know how to express that yet but I will try."

Before Aaron can respond Robert's phone rings as he looks down he frowns "Umm we should have kept an eye on the time" Aaron just laughs "Come on then, I really don't want to get on the wrong side of your gran." He holds out his hand and helps Robert up but doesn't let go as they walk back to the house. Both of them know that they have a long way to go but this is a start.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hopefully you liked this chapter just something that I couldn't shake so I wrote it down.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The guys have a late night talk.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for the encouragement. 
> 
> (And yeah I know my grammar etc could probably do with some well a lot of work sorry!!)

Robert wakes with a start and looks at the time, only 2am. He sighs and gets up to make himself a drink. He moves as quietly as he can not wanting to disturb his gran or Aaron. His Aaron who travelled all the way to Spain all because Robert didn't answer a phone, he briefly thinks do I get to call him mine anymore. He makes it to the kitchen and sets about making himself a hot chocolate. He sits down at the kitchen table and looks out the garden. He's so lost in his thoughts he jumps when he hears a voice behind him "Any chance you want to share that?" and he turns around to see Aaron standing there looking like he has had as much sleep as he has. 

"Sure, but I could make you one if you'd prefer?". He half smiles at Aaron who shakes his head "Nah, this is fine thanks." 

They both sit there in a comfortable silence trading drinks when Robert asks "Could you not sleep then?" Aaron looks at him "Ummmm not really, I haven't been sleeping all that well recently. But you don't have to worry or listen to me complain." 

Aaron suddenly finds the table very interesting when Robert reaches across and takes his hand "Hey, aren't we trying to get better at that, what's on your mind Aaron?" 

Aaron smiles "Oh you have been listening to me then?" Robert doesn't speak just squeezes his hand in encouragement. "I miss you Robert. I tried not too and tried listening to mum, Liv, Paddy and all the Dingles and do what they wanted. Move on and you will be happy and you know what I tried and I wasn't Robert. To the point that mum told me I should come here to see you and then I would truly know what I wanted for me. And its you. I am not telling you this to pressure you or anything I know you need space and I am so proud of you for admitting that. You waited for me Robert this is me telling you I will do the same if you will still want me." Aaron feels like a weight has been lifted of his chest and he looks at Robert. He thinks he shouldn't have said anything but with Robert its just easy for him to be himself.

Robert doesn't say anything just sits there his eyes filled with tears. "Aaron you know." Aaron smiles one of his real smiles that only Robert and close family get to see. "I know, god do I know." He moves closer to Robert and leans their foreheads together. Robert moves slightly and kisses Aaron the barest of touches "Come to bed with me." Aaron pulls back to look at him and Robert smiles. "Not for that, just to sleep we both need the rest and maybe this will help." He sees Aaron still wrestling with the idea and adds "Seeing as someone drank most of my hot chocolate its the least they could do." Aaron laughs and nods his head. 

They both make their way to Robert's room. Robert climbs into bed and pats the bed next to him to get Aaron to get in. They both lie next to each other not moving or touching when Robert lets out a small "sod it" and moves wrapping himself around Aaron with his head on Aaron's chest. Aaron wraps his arm around Robert and he's content as it just feels right he thinks as he drifts off to sleep.

Aaron wakes up slowly becoming aware that he's not alone in the bed and tenses for a second before his senses alert him to the fact its Robert. He then becomes aware at some point during the night they have switched as Aaron is now laying with his head to Robert's chest. And he feels happy he knows there's a long road but right now in this moment he couldn't imagine walking it with anyone else. He moves closer to Robert if that was possible and hears a sleepy "I needed that." 

"Me too best sleep I have had in ages." Before either of them get the chance to speak again a phone ringing makes them both jump. 

Its then Robert reaches over to grab his phone and he notices its 1pm. "Wow we really did need that sleep you never sleep this late." Aaron just smiles as he looks at Robert's phone. He doesn't comment but he feels filled with more hope as Robert's background on his phone is a picture of them both that Liv took on the couch in the Woolpack, Aaron leaning against Robert who has his arm around him both crashed out in front of the TV. Its one of Aaron's favourite pictures but he won't tell Liv that.

Both make their way downstairs and into the kitchen where they find Annie. "Morning gran" Robert says as he kisses her cheek. 

"Afternoon Robert, Aaron. You both look better than you did yesterday." Aaron just smiles as her but says nothing not sure what to say. "Yeah apparently all I needed was Aaron snoring to send me right off." 

"Hey at least I am not Mr Kicksalot in his sleep." 

Annie smiles fondly at them both "So Aaron how long are you staying for?" as she watches them both. Robert tenses but says nothing and Aaron looks from him to Annie "I don't know I only bought a ticket to get here." 

Robert instantly relaxes as does Aaron it means he does want him around even if he can't go back to the village yet. "Oh good, it will be good to get to know you and not just from what I learned from Victoria and Robert. Don't be scared." Robert breaks the moment by laughing "Oh gran yeah saying that to him won't scare him at all. I am going to shower and get dressed." With that Robert leaves the kitchen leaving Aaron and Annie together.

"So, l don't bite you know. I just wanted to say that's the most Robert he has been since he got here. And even the tension you were carrying yesterday seems to have lifted a bit. I can see the love you both have for each other, it makes me happy to see him so loved and that he is finally letting himself love so freely instead of hiding." Aaron doesn't know how to respond but he looks up and Annie and she seems to just get it she pats him on the back of the hand "Come on now love I will show you the main bathroom if you want to get changed." 

Annie keeps them distracted for the rest of the day trying to give them a break from all the emotions from the previous day. Both are sitting on the sofa in the lounge Robert barely keeping his eyes open. "You should go to bed Robert you look shattered." 

He nods once slowly "What about you?" He looks like he wants to say more but stops. 

So Aaron takes the leap "I was waiting for you to head up. Look tell me if I am overstepping but maybe we could sleep together again." 

Robert raises his eyebrow and smirks. Aaron shakes his head and smiles fondly "To sleep Rob." Robert nods his head and they both head upstairs to get some well earned rest.

A few days pass with them both falling into an easy rhythm again with each other. Of talking and not talking both trying to work out what to say or how to act. But for the most part they were good at that the not talking thing, its the sharing of the deep and meaningful they struggled with but they are getting there.

Annie asks Aaron to take her into the market in the next town. She's waiting on something being delivered so needs someone to stay behind and apparently Robert just annoys her when she wants food shopping and Aaron can fully believe it as he's lived it so he happily goes with her.

Robert is sitting out in the garden when he hears a car stop outside the front of the house and he makes his way towards to the gate but it opens and Robert stops in his tracks stunned. 

A nervous looking Liv standing there biting her lip "Hiya."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Any comments are always appreciated even if it is to tell me where I am going wrong!! x


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Liv and Robert have a chat.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I am not sure if I am totally happy with this..... but i have made so many changes I can't anymore.  
> Not sure I have Liv quite right but hey.

"Hiya"

Robert just stands there staring at her for a few moments before his brain kicks back in. Now it makes sense Liv is the delivery. He knew his gran had talked to Vic to give her an update but neither Aaron or himself has spoken to Liv. His gran had again been made aware of another visitor arriving and said nothing so Robert and well Aaron didn't freak out.

"I'm sorry Liv, we should have called to speak to you. Or I should have." Robert manages to get out and then he looks down at the ground. But before he can say anything else she has walked up to him and punched him, hard in the arm. "Ouch what's that for?" He gets out as he's rubbing his arm. But she doesn't speak and when he looks at her he knows that face. It's the one where she's fighting back the tears and he just pulls her into a hug and lets her cry.

He lets her cry it out and she steps back and wipes her eyes with her sleeves in a very Aaron like move. She looks a cross between angry and worried. "Come on then, I know we need to talk but lets do it at the beach trust me it helps being down there." He puts an arm around her shoulder and when she doesn't shrug him off he leads her down to the beach.

He takes her to his spot on the beach and sits down. She stands there looking like she might run away before she crashes down next to him. He smiles that's the Liv he knows. He doesn't say anything just sits there with her, he knows what she needs to shout or scream or cry and that's okay he will be there and listen.

"So how have you been?" She eventually asks him. 

"Oh ummm okay I suppose." She shoots him a look and he knows that he has to be honest. "Okay then let me try again awful I guess. I don't really have an answer for that question Liv. As I said to Aaron I know you deserve answers, I really do, but I haven't worked them out for me yet so how do I give them to the people I love."

She looks surprised for a second that he has been that open but he guesses if they are going to move forward he has to try. "I know that might sound like I am stalling or trying to worm my way out again but I am not."

He's cut off but a loud "I know your not so don't say that again!! I am sick of you taking the blame for everything and well for all us to keep blaming you." He nods once. "Robert you hurt Aaron and I wasn't okay with that." She stops again.

"I know I hurt you too Liv. And I am truly truly sorry for that." Again a silence falls between then as she gathers her thoughts.

"I am sorry too Robert. I didn't mean to hurt you either and I know I did. All I wanted to do was make you pay, I did't even think my actions could have ended up hurting Aaron too. Act first and think about it later." She starts picking at her nails and chewing her lip.

"Well I guess I have rubbed off on you a bit - act first think later thing" He smiles at her and she smiles back at him. "But I get it you have a right to be angry with me I deserve it. I wish I had more answers for you to make things better for you but I don't. But you have nothing to be sorry for okay I did deserve all the anger it's okay."

"Stop it Robert. Not everything is all your fault okay. And yes I am angry but do you know why? It's because you are my family so I am allowed to be." She pauses but he can tell she isn't finished. "It took you leaving and me realising that you might not come back, but you are my family and I was as devastated as Aaron when I thought you weren't coming back. Family don't abandon one another you and Aaron taught me that so now that you need us we will be there for you. I am not going to promise that I won't get mad and throw it in your face cos well I am me so it will happen. But Robert I am sorry Seb wasn't yours I know how much he meant to you. And she shouldn't have used a child like that to play mind games with you. I mean he will end up as messed up as Lachlan." She stops talking as thinks she might have gone too far. She looks at Robert who is crying now.

"Liv, I know we don't normally but I really need to hug you." She looks at him and then all but throws herself into his arms and she lets her own tears fall. "Thank you."

She moves back again but leans against him and he puts his arm around her. "Robert I know I am not the easiest but you didn't give up on me when Aaron went to prison and I gave you enough reasons. So this is me telling you I am here and won't give up and I need you. Who else am I going to wind up." 

Robert rolls his eyes and laughs "Ah and there she is the Liv I know and love."

"I am still angry though. I can't help it but I hate barbie more where does she get off taking advantage of someone who has had a drink. And if you try to stand up for her Robert I will give you a dead leg." She holds her hand up as if she's going too.

"I am good for a dead leg thank you." She brings her hand back down. "And yeah I won't be standing up for her ever again. I don't ever want to see her again. I almost lost everything because of that moment. I don't know why you and Aaron are sticking around but I am really thankful that you are." 

"Robert you are family. That's the reason and I will be around to remind you of that." She smiles at him and then they both hear a noise. "Oops way to ruin a moment I haven't eaten much today."

"Wow seriously that was your stomach. Come on then." He stands up and grabs her hand. "Lets go get you some food."

They head back to the house and Robert makes Liv a sandwich, which she takes gratefully. "So where is Aaron? I can't wait to get the speech from him about being here." She says with her mouth and full and a roll of her eyes.

"He's out with my gran, who I'm guessing knew that you would be coming?" Robert asks while biting back a smile he has missed Liv. "Umm yeah, she didn't think it would be a problem seeing as Aaron has been sleeping in your room." Robert tries to respond "Oh please don't Robert I don't need the pain of being mentally scarred but what you two have been doing!" At this point Robert can't hold back his laugh. 

They both hear the door as Aaron wanders into the doorway with a lot of bags in his hands. Robert jumps up to help and asks "Where is gran?"

"Oh she went to someone's house for a coffee about two doors down I think." 

"Well that's because we have a visitor seeing as you haven't noticed." Robert looks behind him and Aaron follows his lead. "Liv what are you doing here?" Liv looks like she's about to cry again but Aaron rounds the table and hugs her. "Ah did you think I would be annoyed? I did think it would take you another day before you arrived." He laughs and goes back to help Robert unpack.

"Wait what? You couldn't know I was coming." She asks as she gets up to help them. 

"Oh please Liv, I know you were as worried as I was about him but I am glad you gave me a few days." He kisses the top of her head. "After all family is family."

Liv looks at Robert and again punches him in the arm like she has done a million times "See told you."

Robert smiles at them both "Yes you did and I don't know what I have done to deserve it but I will work on that. With my family. Speaking of I am guessing I can't avoid Victoria's phone calls forever."

Aaron smiles at him and rubs his arm "Lets leave it until tomorrow hey and then you can go to your beach and phone her." "Thank you I....." He trails off and Aaron pulls him into a hug. "God am I going to be mentally scarred again by you two." Robert laughs into Aaron's shoulder and Aaron winks at Liv to thank her.

"Right well, Liv let me show you to your room then. And then we can make dinner." Robert says as he grabs Liv's bag. "Well if Aaron's making it I will leave it thanks I don't really fancy toast and something."

"Hey you" Aaron says with a smile. "I can cook." Aaron's rant fades off and Robert leads Liv to the stairs both of them laughing.

Robert shows Liv the room "I know we have more to talk about and I will try to answer things for you but I am still working on it. But thank you for being here."

Robert leaves the room and heads to the stairs, tonight he will have dinner with his family and they can take it from there. His phones rings in his pocket, he takes it out and looks at it - Vic. Should he answer now or wait.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you think xx


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a little short chapter.

He doesn't answer the phone to Vic he just sends a message to her telling her promises that he will call tomorrow. He thinks about going back into the kitchen but instead finds that he needs air and sneaks out the house.

Liv comes down stairs to find Aaron sitting in the kitchen. They both look at each other and ask at the same time "Where's Robert?"

They find Robert sitting on the beach and both are relieved but as they get closer and really look at him, he is leaning with his head on his knees and they can see the subtle movement in his shoulders and Aaron's heart instantly breaks. He wonders how long he has been there on his own crying. Aaron looks at Liv and is about to tell her to go back to Annie's house when she looks right at him and says "No chance, we go together."

Robert is oblivious to them being there and jumps when Aaron puts his arms around him. Liv sits on Robert's other side and takes his hand just to let him know she's there. Robert looks at them both and whispers a broken "I'm sorry" as he breaks down sobbing again.

Aaron and Liv look at each other both of them filled with grief for Robert, yes he hurt them but now he is going through so much and all they can do is be there for him and when he is ready they will listen. Robert eventually stops crying and wipes at his eyes with his sleeve. Aaron knows he hates doing that but doesn't comment. He puts his hands on Robert's face to force him to look at him and takes a deep breath and hopes he says the right thing.

"Robert, you once said to me my beautiful husband, who I love. And I never accepted that because well look at me but then thinking about it you always said you would spend your life trying to make me see that and I never understood why. But its because you love me and you want to make sure I am loved and protected and safe. I get that now Robert as I want to make sure and do the same for you. My beautiful husband is in there" as he points to Robert's heart "and I know that once you have sorted yourself you might be able to see that. If not I will spend every day proving it to you how loved and special you are the way you do for me."

By the time he finished the tears are pouring down Robert's face and Aaron's own. Robert leans forward and they touch foreheads. "Thank you I don't quite have the words to respond to that but that means so much to me, please don't doubt that I love you." He leans back and turns towards Liv and takes her hand again. "And you too Liv. I do love you and I am so sorry I let both of you down. And you really don't know what it means to have you both here." 

Liv in a very unlike her way throws herself into Robert's arms taking both him and Aaron by surprise. "You are not alone Robert, I know that you need time to sort yourself out. I think we all do and have all earned it at this point. But you, both have you make me feel safe and loved even after all I put you through and lets be fair what I will still put you through, you are both always there for me never make me feel unwanted." She feels brave enough to stop speaking to Robert's chest and looks up at both of them. "I never thanked you for that. Rob you get a special mention here on your own as if you hadn't found me I wouldn't have Aaron or you in my life." With that she grabs both of them and they all sit there crying.

Robert eventually sniffs and says "Wow I guess we all really needed that. Liv of course you are loved and even if you are a pain in the arse but then so is Aaron and I still love him." They all laugh lifting the tension a little. "I get that you guys say you love me but it might take a while for that to sink in as I was sure I lost all of this. But I love both of you with all of my heart and that's something I haven't done in well forever only Vic and mum before you two. I still need some time but thank you doesn't seem enough. I know also that you both deserve answers to all the questions you have and I will do my best to do that for you."

Sensing that Robert is becoming overwhelmed at this point Aaron says "I hate to ruin the moment but if you two are anything like me right now your exhausted and hungry so maybe we head back to the house?" Liv and Robert both smile and nod as they make their way back to Annie's.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Any comments etc are always appreciated. 
> 
> Not sure how to tackle the conversation with Vic yet.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry I have been so bad at this. Lost my mojo a little and then I was a little poorly but if anyone is still interested here you go!

Its been a few days since their emotional talk on the beach. Robert did stick to his word and called Vic which was emotional and all full of apologies with Robert promising a proper catch up when he is back.

Robert starts to head outside and stops at the door and just watches for a second. Aaron and Liv are in deep conversation about something before both of them burst into fits of laughter. Robert can't help the smile that forms on his face. He also can't believe how lucky he is to have them back in his life. He leans against the door frame and thinks about these last few days. They have talked, cried, laughed and Robert still can't believe that both of them are here and want him back in their lives. 

Robert feels a tap on his shoulder and looks round to see his gran smiling at him. "You know what that scene out there is missing" Robert just arches his eyebrow not quite catching on to what she means. "You, love. Go out there and spend time with your family." Robert smiles at her gives her a kiss on her cheek and does exactly that.

"Wondered where you had gone, everything okay?" Aaron says as he moves over on the bench to make more room for Robert. As Robert sits down he is surprised when Aaron kisses his cheek.

"Ummm yeah just thinking that's all." Robert says with a shrug of his shoulders.

"You know I was wondering what that noise was but now I know its was just you and your big head" Liv responds as she gets up from the bench laughing her head off. As Robert is about to respond Aaron's laughter beside him startles him. "Oh so that's the game we are playing then you two is it?" Robert answers but he can't quite hold in his own laugh.

A few hours later they are in the kitchen, Annie having gone out with her friends, at the table eating their dinner when the conversation Robert has been dreading is brought up. "So when is it then?" he asks. Aaron pauses puts his fork and down and asks "When is what?" Aaron knows exactly what Robert is asking. "I am not stupid, you guys can't stay her much longer with work and school so I know it has to be soon that you are leaving." He takes a deep breath and sighs. "I'm just not ready to go back to the village yet, I am sorry."

Aaron leans over and takes Robert's hand "I know you are not and that's okay don't beat yourself up about that. But you are right we do have to go back the day after tomorrow. Neither of us want to leave you please believe me on that." Liv sighs "Why don't you go back and I can just stay here, I have sacked off school before they will be more surprised I am there."

Robert can't help it Liv's outburst makes him laugh and Aaron thinks its the most amazing sound he has heard. "Thanks Liv, but yeah you need to go back both of you. I just need some more time I know I don't exactly deserve it but I am not in that place yet to come back. But I promise I will start looking into somewhere to live as soon as I can. I can't see myself back at Vic's or the B&B." 

Aaron is frowning at Robert before he can respond though the house phone starts to ring. "Ah bet that's gran wanting a lift." Sure enough it is Annie all apologetic but wondering if Robert can come get her. Robert grabs his phone "Will be half an hour tops guys" and with that he's out the door.

"Okay out with it" Liv says while clicking her fingers in front of Aaron's face. "Don't know what you are on about" comes the grumpy response.

"Oh so the fact that Robert has basically just said he's homeless and doesn't know where he will go when he comes back to the village didn't bother you at all then because its bothered me." Liv says as she pushes the plate in front of her away. "It bothered me Aaron as I don't want Robert to just come back to the village I want him to come home." 

Aaron leans across the table "Oh Liv I want exactly the same as you I want him home where he should be. But I am scared that this is too much pressure or...." He trails off not exactly sure he wants to say it out loud. "You are daft Aaron if you think he won't want too you know." Liv says as she moves round the table to hug him. "Oh really and you know that do you?" as he hugs her back.

"She might not be able to give you an answer but I could." Both Liv and Aaron jump out of their skin as they hadn't heard Robert come back in. "Forgot my keys" He offers in way of an explanation. "But just so you know she isn't wrong." With that he grabs his keys and is out the door again before either can react.

 

Robert gets back twenty mins later with Annie. He walks into an empty house and finds a note on the table asking him to come to the beach in Aaron's scribbles. He smiles picks up the note "Gran I have been summoned to the beach will be back later." Annie leans over gives him a kiss on the cheek "Have fun love".

Aaron and Liv are sitting on the beach making the most of their second last night and waiting for Robert to arrive. Neither of them notice him walking up the beach so just before he gets to them Robert lets out a yell making both Aaron and Liv jump into the air. Robert loses it laughing while both Liv and Aaron give him a dirty look. "Sorry I couldn't miss that opportunity." he says as he sits down next to them.

"Did you mean it?" Aaron asks not daring to look at Robert. 

"We want you to come home Robert we know you need more time but when you are ready we mean at home with us not just back to the village." Liv adds to the conversation even though she knows Robert isn't stupid.

"Okay can you both look at me then?" Robert waits until both sets of eyes are on him. "I love you, both of you so the fact that you both want me home means the absolute world to me. So yes, if you guys mean it then I do too, I am all in." 

There is a brief moment that they all just sit there before Liv punches Aaron on the arm and says "told you" before throwing her arms around Robert. Robert in turn lifts his other arm and puts it around Aaron all three of them sat on the beach hugging like that's all that matters. Their little family sitting on a beach in Spain with tears in their eyes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Still feel like there is more story to tell here with Liv and Aaron going home and maybe then Robert heading home. Any opinions are welcome xx


	7. Chapter 7

So the day had come. Aaron and Liv were going home. Their bags are at the front door and a quietness had fallen over the house. This is going to be painful they all know it. All of them at the table pushing breakfast around their plates but none of them able to eat it. Annie eventually breaks the silence "You know, you have time to go for a walk on the beach before you need to leave." Aaron gives her a small smile "That actually sounds like a great idea, sorry about breakfast." She smiles at him "It's okay love not to worry." Both Robert and Liv choose this point to take this as their cue and get up.

All three of them head down to their spot on the beach, funny that Robert thinks to himself, it used to just be his spot now its theirs. He sits down first in the warm sand with Aaron and Liv choosing to sit on either side of him. All of them looking out to the water in silence. There's another few moments of calm before Robert feels Aaron tense up beside him, before he can say anything though Aaron clears his throat like he's going to say something but then doesn't. Robert looks at him and sees Aaron with his hand out with a key on it. Robert frowns "Ummm what's that for?" Aaron laughs even though he's nervous and Robert hears Liv snort behind him "Told you he wouldn't have a clue." 

Robert sighs "Okay we have established I am clueless so go on then what is it?" Aaron smiles takes Robert's hand places the key in his palm and closes it into a fist. "Our home." Robert lifts his fist and holds it next to his heart. "For when you are ready this isn't us pressuring you."

Robert has to clear his throat before he can speak and all that comes out is a whisper "Thank you." Aaron leans forward and places the softest of kisses to Robert's lips before leaning forward to rest their foreheads together. "Me and you are messed up forever Robert, take all the time you need and I will be at home waiting." 

"And I will too but not in a gross mopey pining way like Aaron." Liv adds sensing that its all becoming a bit too much for her brothers. Robert and Aaron both laugh and Robert reaches round to grab her into a hug to which she gratefully receives and he kisses the top of her head "I will miss you too kiddo. Now I hate to be the one that ruins the moment but we need to get back so we can get you to the airport on time." 

 

Robert finds himself later that night out on the bench in the back garden wrapped in a blanket with tears running down his face. He knew it was going to be hard. His mind drifting to back at the airport when Aaron just didn't want to let him go and held onto him that little bit tighter. "I love you, you know." Aaron whispered into Robert's shoulder. "I know and I love you more." Robert said taking Aaron's head in his hands and leaning down to kiss him. Robert then stepped back and looked at Liv who had also clearly been crying as her cheeks were all red. "Come here you." He held open his arms and she all but jumped into them. "I am gonna miss you Liv." She squeezed him tighter "Me too but if you repeat that I will deny it." Both of them laugh knowing she doesn't mean it. Robert is brought out of his thoughts by his gran holding out a mug of hot chocolate for him. "It worked when you were younger." She says looking him leaning forward to wipe at his tears. "That boy loves you to the moon and back he will give you all the time you need." With that she heads back to the house and Robert looks up to the moon and knows she's right but it still hurts all the same.

 

Aaron and Liv make it back to the mill. Aaron text his mum to let her know he was home safe and would catch up tomorrow. Liv having gone straight into the house and disappearing to her room. Aaron knew she was finding it hard but wanted to give her space before he talked to her. With that he headed out into the back garden. He walked over to the stupid swing seat Robert had insisted they get and sits down with a smile on his face. He will never admit it but he actually does kinda love the seat. He sits back and sighs staring at the moon wondering what Robert is doing. He picks up his phone and looks at his messages to Robert

A: Home Safe x  
R: Thanks for letting me know x  
R: Miss you and love you x  
A: Love you more x

The messages make him smile as he's pulled from his thoughts by a blanket being thrown at him. "What you smiling at?" Liv asks with a knowing smile on her face. He doesn't say anything just pulls her against him and wraps the blanket around them. They sit in silence until Liv speaks so quietly Aaron almost misses it "He will come home won't he?" It throws him for a second and he holds her more tightly but before he can answer her phone beeps. She takes it out from under the blanket and smiles, she lets Aaron see the message.

R: Love and miss you too, kid x 

Aaron's smile matches Liv at that moment. "What's that saying love you to the moon and back?" He says as he's looking up at the moon. "Well I know he loves us Liv and he will come home to us." He has too he thinks but doesn't are say out loud.

 

It's been two weeks now since Aaron and Liv had to head back to Emmerdale leaving Robert behind in Spain. Work has been keeping Aaron busy as he's been trying to catch up with the back log he left. They all talk, text and video call when they can. Even when its just something as simple as letting them know how their day has gone to what they had for dinner. Aaron throws himself down on the sofa in the mill and covers his eyes with his arm. Today was tough everything seemed to go wrong for him and there was nothing he could do to stop it, it was like he was a spectator to his own life at that point. All he wanted to do was crawl into Robert's arms and he knows he would feel better. He feels a dip in the couch next to him so he glances to his right and can instantly tell something is wrong. "Okay, out with it please?" She gives him a dirty look, one that he knows he gives himself to people when they annoy him. "I said please and everything" He knows he's winding her up but the smile she gives him is worth it even if she does follow it with a punch to his arm. 

"You know how you are moping right now as Robert isn't here and you just have those days where you need him?" He nods. "Well today is one of those days for me too." She says with a sad smile while playing with a thread on one of his hoodies she has claimed as her own. "Oh Liv, come here." He pulls her into a hug. "I miss him too so much it hurts and I wish sometimes I could go to Spain and drag him back here. But he needs this space, how about next school break if he's not back we will book to go and visit." She smiles "That would be good but if you tell him I was all gross and moping for him I going to kill you." Both of them laugh and feel lighter for it. 

"How about we video call him I am sure he wouldn't mind." Aaron says as Liv nods. "You get the brews on and I will text so he can get his laptop on." So Aaron sends off a text and goes to help Liv with the brews. When he comes back to the sofa he puts on the laptop and check his phone, Robert hadn't even read the message. Just as he is about to give Robert a quick phone someone knocks the door. He gets up and laughs when he hears Liv shout "Whoever it is get rid of them." 

He opens the front door and stands there with his mouth open in complete shock. "So, did you miss me?" Standing there on the other side of the door a very tanned, gorgeous and nervous looking Robert Sugden.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you as always for the lovely comments. 
> 
> I think though this fic probably only has one more chapter to it.


	8. Chapter 8

Aaron can't believe it and for a second actually wonders if he's dreaming. On cue Robert nips his arm and laughs "Nope I am really here." And Aaron flushes red and he realises some of his internal monologue he was actually speaking out loud.

"Aaron, what's keeping you I thought we were going to try and video call with..." She trails off when she sees the person she was talking about standing right in front of her.

"As lovely as this is, I have been in Spain for over a month and its bloody freezing out here so can I come in?" Robert says with a smile on his face. Aaron and Liv kick into action at this point and both grab Robert by an arm each and pull him inside, Aaron lets go so he can grab Robert's bag. When he turns around he sees Liv clinging to Robert and Robert holding onto her just as tightly. She smiles and steps back.

Aaron drops Robert's bag just inside the door and kicks it shut and locks it as if making sure Robert can't go anywhere. "Liv why don't you go make Robert a brew as I doubt you are going to want to witness this." She laughs but immediately turns away leaving a confused Robert standing there. Aaron steps towards Robert, grabs him by the face and pulls him down for a kiss. Not a soft gentle one but a hard bruising kiss that has them both panting for air when he steps back.

Robert clears his throat "Wow, ummm I don't think I have a response for that." At this point Liv shouts "Stop being gross please and come and have your brew." Aaron takes Robert's hand in his own and leads him into the living room. 

Robert is placed by them both in the centre of the sofa with Aaron and Liv on either side of him. They sit there in silence for a while no one speaking as if not to break the spell that Robert is really there in the Mill. All three of them just drinking their tea. Robert can't take it anymore so he breaks the tension "Did you guys miss me then? I will admit to missing you guys a little bit." As he bursts out laughing at the look on Aaron and Liv's faces. Liv gives him a hard punch to the arm "Ouch I didn't miss that, will need to remember that!" Liv smiles sweetly at Robert and says "Well if you stop acting like an idiot then I won't have too then will I?" Aaron laughs and says "Well in that case he better get used to the bruised arms."

"Oh ha ha ha, pair of comedians you two are." Robert says as he moves to get up. Both Aaron and Liv grab out at his arms on instinct and Robert smiles "I am not going anywhere, but I do need to use the loo so unless you want an accident to happen." Both immediately let go and he laughs and disappears upstairs.

Liv looks at Aaron who looks like he is about ready to cry "Aaron is he really here?" She whispers it as if afraid to ruin the moment. Aaron grabs her into his side hugging her as he whispers into the top of her head "yeah he really is." Aaron looks back to the stairs as he hears Robert at the top coming down them. Aaron hears Liv say more he thinks to herself "But is he here to stay?" Liv immediately flushes red as she realises that was said out loud and hopes it was only Aaron who heard it.

"I am if you both want me. I spoke with gran and she made me see that the longer I was leaving it the worse my anxiety of facing everyone was getting. You two sort of make it better for me. I mean I know I'm still going to need help and some counselling but I want to be better for me and for you both. I can't promise though there won't be bad days but I am trying. And well I love you two so much I think gran was sick of my moping." He finishes with an attempt at humour to try and lighten the mood. 

"You are an idiot Robert Jacob Sugden" Aaron starts with an "Agreed" chipped in from Liv. "I love you so much it bloody hurts. I know that you need time to process and sort through everything and I fully and completely understand that and will support you all the way. And you have no idea how proud of you I am that you are even considering counselling I know that is massive for you. But the one thing I am so grateful for at this moment is that you are home." His voice breaks as he struggles to continue but Liv helps out "With family where you belong." All of them are crying now as Robert reaches out to both of them as they stand in front of the couch hugging. After a while Robert laughs, Liv and Aaron lean back to look at his face. "Why do we always end up big crying messes." All of them laugh. "Sorry to break the moment but I could use a shower after the travelling and I did promise Gran I would let her know I got here safe." Robert takes his phone out of his pocket as Aaron replies "Why don't I let Annie know you are HOME and you go get that shower and then Liv and I planned a movie night we could do that together?" Robert smiles "Sounds good to me."

Later that evening the only sound in the Mill was the sound of a movie long forgotten playing in the background with three very content happy people fast asleep on the couch. Aaron and Liv on either side of Robert as if preventing him escaping. They all knew they had a long road ahead of them but at least they knew they would be travelling that road together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well its the end for this one!!
> 
> Not sure whether or not to do little moments from their future with the counselling etc.
> 
> Thanks for reading xx


End file.
